Please note: The term scummy mummy is used purely for comedic value. It in no way reflects personality, character or strength of the person who may identify with this made up label. I like it because it rhymes with yummy.
It seems nowadays that there are million and one categories that parents, specifically Mums are put into. When I am walking down the street there is really only two categories I mentally put mums into Yummy mummies and Scummy mummies.
I am the latter catergory, very rarely do I fit into the former catergory but when I do there is normally a tell tell sign that I don’t belong there. There is something that gives away that I am really a Scummy mummy in disguise.
So how do you know if you are a Yummy mummy or a Scummy mummy? Have a look at my check lists below.
10 signs you are a Yummy mummy
2. You have a whole morning and evening routine involving creams. lotions and potions and you wear make up daily and you look beautiful for it.
3. You have ‘outfits’ you know what looks good and how to mix and match what you have, no jogging bottoms insight and you do not have a floordrobe.
4. You have actually had more than 1 professional haircut and manicure in the past 12 months.
5. You work out! Outside of the house. Regularly. child free (walking the school run doesn’t count)
6. You have your own shampoo and conditioner, none of this non branded, one bottle does everything for everyone, that everyone in the house uses (including the dog) for you, yours is especially for Brundes
7. Yummy mummy’s are prepared,
Rain. They have an umbrella
Sun. They have shades and sun block
Pen and paper. Check!
Change. Always ready to pay for parking (a high percentage of Yummy mummies drive, but it is not a defining factor)
Appointments. They have an awesome bag (all for themselves no children’s trinkets lurking in here) and stashed away is a beautiful Paperchase/Moleskine/Paperblanks diary, notebook or journal. meaning they know exactly and where they are meant to be and when. This means they avoid looking like a crazy person turning up for appointments two hours early THREE days late. d’oh.
And so forth
8. Accessories. Oh the accessories are always beautiful. Necklaces, belts, rings, earnings, anklets, bracelets, head scarves, alternative piercings and their belt loops never get caught on door handles ripping at the seam creating a lovely little hole for their muffin top to peep through.
oh the shame.
9. Shoes. Boots. sandals. Trainers. Dolly shoes. Wellington boots. Kitten heels. Wedges. Peep toe. Calf length boots. Walking boots. Stilettos. They have them all! know where they are and don’t have to spend thirty minutes trying to find the other foot, only to find the cat ate it.
10. A sense of humour. Now not all of them have this, but I am lucky that most of the ones I have met do and they can laugh at themselves as much as any scummy mummy can, but people often assume they won’t. As a veteran Scummy mummy I don’t want to be judged so I guess we shouldn’t judge these beautiful specimens, but instead maybe ask them a question and get to know and hope that some of their yumminess might rub off on us?
10 signs you are a Scummy mummy
2. It’s 11am and you haven’t brushed your teeth yet alone washed your face or brushed your hair (oh no, is that just me then?)
3. Glitter nail polish. It’s the only polish you really like as it stays on forever (permanent pedicure) and you can’t really tell when it starts chipping.
4. You put more effort into your Halloween make up and costume than you do your daily appearance
5. You own facial cleanser, toner, moisturiser and even make up and they last you FOREVER because you NEVER use them.
6. You own less than three pairs of matching underwear and 95% of the time they aren’t worn as a pair anyway.
7. At least once a week you have to do the sniff test for someone in the family to determine if something has ‘one more wear’ in it, to be fair it normally does, don’t judge we are saving the planet here.
8. Children shouldn’t have more than 2hrs screen time per day. Ummm really, you know my child is awake for 10-12 hours EVERY DAY and there are only so many jigsaws, books and blocks in the world. Right.
9. We would love to wear accessories. I have tried. I’ve ended up with necklaces being pulled so tight I thought I was going to choke. Earrings brings ripped out of my earlobes, rings taken off and jabbed in my eye. I now stick to my wedding ring and have a few pieces I wear when the kids aren’t around (being a stay at home mum believe me that isn’t that often).
10. A sense of humour. We are tired, we are probably looking at bit ummm, not so great, but we can laugh about it. We take life the way it is thrown at us and we know every now and again, we all need a good chuckle even if it is at our own expense. And just like my favourite show Obsessive Complulsive Cleaners the Yummy Mummies could learn something from us too??
So are YOU a Scummy mummy or a Yummy mummy???
- Or are you like me realising, we all have a little bit of everything in us and its pretty cool to see all the combinations that can evolve, also who knows, just because you think you are one or the other doesn’t mean you will stay that way forever. There are pluses and minuses to both sides. I think we should just ditch the labels, stop our inner comparisons and wear our greatest label with pride ‘MUMMY’. With no prefix or anything else trying to define us, we are one big community really.
Thanks for reading