My inaction speaks louder than my voice ever could

I have never liked conflict. 

Ever since I was a child. Sometimes even a pleasant debate causes my stomach to knot, my heart to race and my mind to skip right to the flight part, forgetting the option to fight. 

I’ve always thought this was a positive thing. I am the person that likes to smooth things over. To cause the waters to calm once again. Recently though, I have realised it is not and that I am not a peace maker. 

I am a coward. 

Now, I know that sounds harsh, but I am the person who always tries to see it from the other point of view, unless it’s my husbands point of view – he is ALWAYS wrong… Hahaha. 

Let’s take the recent UK election. I never told anyone other than my immediate family who I was voting for. My reasoning was I didn’t want to influence anyone. In reality the truth was, I didn’t want to have to explain myself, I didn’t want to debate it. 

I was open about my views on voting, everyone who could,should. I posted on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter about it. Urging people to vote. What people wouldn’t know is how difficult I found it to post that. I was so worried, people might get angry, people might think I was acting all high and mighty. 

Who was I to tell people they should vote. I have a very basic understanding of Politics. I haven’t always voted in the past. I was a hypocrite. I decided just to do it, like when you take a deep breath and jump into the deep end of the swimming pool. Fuck it. 

After the votes were counted and the winning party officially elected I thought well that is that. I did my job! Then I saw an Article which said that if you voted and you didn’t want the Conservstives to be in power and did nothing for the next five years, then you may as well not have voted. 

It gave ideas as to how you could try and help support your local community to close the gaps which inevitably will be created by certain policies which will soon be introduced. These ideas included but we’re not limited to

  • Support your local food banks: Whether this be by adding a few extra pieces to your weekly/monthly shop and dropping them into the food bank boxes now found at most supermarkets, or going directly to your local food bank, you could even offer your time to help maintain the food bank.
  • Support local vulnerable people: Find out how you can support your local Women’s, Men’s and Children’s homeless centres and Women’s refuges. Find a local befriending service for the elderly and vunerable in the community.  Find an outreach project who feed the homeless, donate food and/or help with distribution. 
    • Use the NHS wisely: Learn what services are available and use the appropriate one. Do not mis-use services such as free contraception and the NHS minor aliment scheme. 
    • Participate: If there are local rally’s or peaceful protests against things that you want to support. Join. Be counted. Sign petitions, write letters. 

    These are a few of the ideas (I have added a few bits in that I have thought of too) that you can do to continue to make a difference over the next 5 years. So far I haven’t done any of these things. I want to. I will. But when? I keep thinking let me get my life on an even keel and and then I can begin. 

    This brings me onto another subject Animal Crueltly. Obviously, I am against animal Crueltly. Dog fighting, beating and starving animals, fox hunting, badger culling are all things that I have been 100% opposed to. As I said I am against Animal Crueltly Recently unless it seems there is some form of benefit to me.

    I have seen a lot of videos online with regards to Animal Crueltly, not by people who clearly should not be able to have pets, but by huge corporations. Animal testing, Circuses and the Meat trade. These are all things that I generally don’t think about when thinking of Animal Crueltly and that is because  it is hidden. 

    Lately however, when I have been eating chicken, I have been imagining what that chicken went through for me to be able to eat it. It doesn’t sit well on my stomach. Thinking of cows who are forcibly impregnanted to keep them in a constant state of lactation so I can have milk in my tea, ice cream or even cheese. It does make my stomach turn a little and it’s not always because I am lactose sensitive. So the easy option is stop. Stop eating meat. Stop using animal products etc. so why don’t I. There are four main reasons.

    One: I hate to think that people think I am better than them.  

    Two: A lack of a true conviction, I don’t like it when I think about it. So, I don’t think about it. I really hope that one day. I am able to choose a side. Either, where I eat meat and can say I am happy to support the meat industry OR where I say, I am not happy to support an industry quite so barbaric. 

    Three: Laziness, as with most things in my life. The effort required to go vegetarian or Vegan, just seems too overwhelming. I have been vegetarian in the past, however they have been for vanity reasons and not ethical. Again one day I hope to have the balls to actually do something. Maybe one step at a time… Cutting out cows milk and red meat? 

    Four: A lack of understanding, animal testing, does not come into my train of thought. I by products because they are cheap, useful and needed. I NEVER look at labels to see if my shampoo or toothpaste has been tested on animals… Why? Because ignorance is bliss.

    I saw this video from PETA, Indiaz it is a street theatre piece where a woman is treated like an animal who is being tested on. It is shocking, but. Worth a watch if you have time.  Women ‘experimented’ on like an animal (street theatre) this is not for the fainted hearted. Seeing this video made me realise ignorance is not bliss, it is just ignorance. 

    Me and my family are taking our first trip abroad later this year and when planning some activities it was suggested we go to a water park. Yay, who doesn’t love epic water slides. There were screams of excitement when it was realised that there were Orcas there as well as many other animals. For me even though I would LOVE to see an Orca, I jutst thought, not like this. 

    After a chat with the husband I have decided we will not be going, we are yet to have a conversation with Oliver to explain why and see if he wants to go or not. I am instead going to go out on a boat into the ocean and see what I am lucky enough to see. Last time I saw dolphins and a type of whale that  I forget the name of. It was magical. 

    The UK election and also a trip planned to go abroad later this year really got me thinking about the power of my voice. I hate confrontation, I don’t think that will change. However these things have got me questioning my life choices are making me realise that in saying nothing, I am still saying something and that is almost as powerful as it is sad. 

    Now I don’t want people to worry I am going to start shoving animal rights and anti meat memes down their throats (that’s not my style). I do however really want to take some time to explore my moral and ethical compass and see where I sit. So please do not judge me. Let me grow. 

    Until you realise you can’t help everyone, and start helping someone, you will never help anyone – unknown

    I realise now how true this saying is, so I am slowly going to try and just help someone. If we all do that we can surely help everyone. 

    Thank you for reading

    Cherrysnotmyname πŸ’πŸ˜Š

    Katie Hopkins #bornnaughty ?

      

    There was a programme on the other day on Channel four called Born naughty. It was about 2 families with children with challanging behaviours. The parent/s believe that there were underlying medical issues/conditions such as Autism and ADHD which caused their child’s behaviour. There were 2 children in episode one, Theo with suspected Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder more commonly known as, ADHD and Honey with suspected Autistic Spectrum Disorder also known as ASD, which she was diagnosed with, along with the rare diagnosis of Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome shortened to PDA. I watched the show through the eyes of a Mother who’s son had recently been diagnosed with ASD. I could understand the pain, the frustration, the helplessness and the uncertainty that these parents felt. 

    The following day after I watched the show. I noticed there were some whispering a on Facebook, with regards to Katie Hopkins being  very vocal about her opinion on one of the children and her family. Well as soon as I saw this, I could imagine the things she would say. I clicked on a link to see some of the comments she had written and felt saddened. Click here to see article. However reading all the outraged responses on Facebook and Twitter made me even sadder. Almost all of them resorted to name calling. I get it you are mad at Katie for her lack of Understanding, her lack of concern and her ability to appear to make very flippant remarks about something that is so close to many of our hearts. Unfortunately the name calling really didn’t sit well with me and I felt on some occasions it overrid the persons point. 

    I wish I could have put a response together to Katie, to explain to her what is is like and how it feels to read her comments. Unfortunately I had no idea how to articulate it, then a lovely mama I follow on Instagram, who’s young son Ned (what a wonderful name) has recently been diagnosed with ASD posted the most heart felt and articulate article I could only dream of writing. Plesase go on over to her  blog Ned in the clouds and see her dignity and strength in action. Claire is a phenomal and inspiring woman. Her blog is a wonderful read filled with pictures of her gorgeous son. The way she writes is so honest and truthful but in no way self indulgent (as I fear mine may be at times). Then I came across the blog
    Reprobatemum she speaks about why it’s a medical problem and why our children need these labels/diagnosis. It’s not a perfect system BUT you have to work with what you have. 

    This next bit I am going to write may irk some people, including some parents in the Autism community. This is not my intention, but I am just going to state how I feel. 

    “Honey’s mum is thrilled her daughter has pathological demand avoidance. Now a whole world of funding has opened up to her ”   – Katie Hopkins                    

    Thrilled is not the word I would use when your child gets a diagnosis. Devestated,  in denial, frustrated, angry and the feeling I believe Honey’s Mum felt relief. 

    You feel relief that 

    1. You aren’t crazy. 
    2. That there is help available
    3. You are not in it alone
    4. The first and possibly hardest part of the journey is over
    5. It’s not something you have/are doing wrong
    6. You can start to dream and hope again
    7. That with the right support progress can be made

    Now Katie Hopkins would probably hate me and label me a shit Mum, Because I worked my butt off to get Zachary his diagnosis. It’s not something that happens over night. It took us almost a year, during that year we had appointments, assessments and reviews with Physiotherapy, Speech and Language,Educational Phychologists, Orthopedics, Occupational Therapy,Peadiatricians, Health VIsitors and this is not an extensive list. I collected video footage, started home therapies with him, attended Special Educational Needs groups, had someone come to my home to do play therapy and teach me how to play and communicate with my son.  *On a side note, do you know how patronising it feels to have to have some one to teach you how to play and communicate with your child? 

    A lot. 

    No matter how needed it is, you still feel like you should know how to do it instinctively and therefore you have failed. It’s only when you see that putting the stratigies into place results in small but remarkable changes, you swallow that feeling of failure (at least for a little while) and instead relish in your child’s achievements. 

    When it comes to funding, I am glad that he has a diagnosis (although I wish he didn’t need it). Funding opens doors, funding provides support, funding ultimately should lead to making your child’s life better. I am so thankful that Zachary gets additional funding for nursery, so he can do full days. It teaches him so much 

    • Routine
    • Intergration
    • Education
    • Opportunity to have different peers

    The additional time means he won’t be shocked when he is suddenly expected to do a full day when he goes to school. It means he has more time to build relationships, more time to access the curriculum (so to speak). More time to work on his communication and language, play, education, personal and emotional care etc. 

    He also gets funding to have 1 to 1 support and again, I worked very hard to get him this. There are many, many loopholes to jump through (that Katie Hopkins has no idea about). Having his 1 to 1 support means he can get all the sensory input he needs, he has support during group activities, during lunch and if things should become too much for him. It means he gets time for someone to work on his mark making, his imaginary play skills, his ability to differentiate between numbers and letters, his ability to answer abstract questions (such as what did you do today) and recall information. I have worked to get his funding and I am proud to say he is funded and Katie do you know why? Because I am him Mum. I am his voice. I am his advocate. And I will shout from the rooftops until someone listens if it means it will get my boy what he needs. I may sound selfish or demanding. but wouldn’t you do the same if it was your child. 

     

    We are just about to start Pre school in September and I do so with my heart filled with happiness and hope. My boy has had so much input through various funding that I know he will do fine, he has the right support going in and I truly look forward to where that year will take us. So I will not be made to feel bad that my son is funded and that I wanted him funded and was happy he got his funding because having a diagnosis makes that easier to access. Because I have done NOTHING wrong and the thing is, if I had done the opposite and waited for the professionals to get it together and do something, I would probably still be somewhere in the system. I am pretty sure I know why Honey’s Mum did a fist pump, when she got the diagnosis. Because finally she had answers, help and support I know I felt that way after a mere ten months in the system. They had been going through this for FIVE YEARS. I think I would fist pump after FIVE YEARS. I believe she is entitled to it! 

    So there are my two cents. Do what you want with them, but Katie Hopkins, it is a little high a mighty for you to comment so harshly on a subject really you have no idea about. You know how annoying it is when people that don’t have kids try to tell you how to parent your kids… It’s kind of like that, but a bajillion times worse!!! I at least hope your tweets raise even more awareness for Autism and others causes so at least something positive can come out of all this negativity you produce. 

    OK, rant over. To my readers, thank you for your continued support. Feel free to comment. 

    *The t-shirts featured in this post can be purchased at Monkey and mole and the proceeds go to an Autism charity. I missed out on the first batch but am eagerly awaiting the next. It’s a great way to raise awareness and support the cause. 
    And just because…. here is a picture of my special man 😊
      
     

    Thanks for reading

    Cherrysnotmyname πŸ’

    “Don’t let them fool ya” -Bob Marley

       This post follows on quite nicely from my previous post Perception Vs Reality, that post was about our perceptions of the way that we parent versus the reality of how we parent. This post is of a similar vein, but it is about how we perceive others to parent. What are the perceptions we form and how often do we form them from limited information.  I took my youngest two boys to the park by myself. I know, I know I deserve a round of applause πŸ‘. I am not going to lie to you. It was a really hard trip. As you may know if you have read my previous posts, Zachary who is 3.5 years old has Autism Spectrum Disorder and Sensory Processing disorder. In a very small nut shell this means he does not experience the world like his neurotypical ordinarily developing brothers. It also means a trip to the park often isn’t as simple as a trip to the park.  The difficulty began the moment we left the house and I put the football in his bag. He wanted to carry the ball. He couldn’t as we were walking and the ball would ultimatly end up in the road and the last thing I needed was him trying to run into the road to rescue a runaway ball. He did the normal, shouting, stamping his feet (he is extremely good at this), pulling on my coat etc. I explained “Zachary ball at playground”. After a few more minutes of protesting he began to walk nicely. When we were about to walk past Iceland. I asked “Shop then Playground?” Or “Playground then Shop?”  I waited the appropriate 6-8 seconds (which I have recently learnt most autistic children require to actually process a question or command) in between each question. Zachary is quite literal so Park is where we go to feed the ducks and Playground is where the slide is, so technically it’s the playground that is next to Iceland, so we wouldn’t have far to go. I had kept the language as basic as I could for other children I might have said. “<insert name> do you want to go to the shop first and then to the park? Or to the Park first and then to the shop after?” But for Zachary I kept it really simple. After what seemed like an age he shouted “Rayroun” and inside I had a rush of pride. I think he understood the question and he answered it appropriately. Yay! So I began to walk towards the park and that’s when he began to scream. 

    I got down to his level and tried to make eye contact, he refused, but that was OK. I asked “What’s the matter?” It’s instinctual in these situations, but I am almost positive he doesn’t understand what I am asking him. That is when he lay on the floor and started rocking on his back with his arms and legs stretched out in the air. I was trying to pick him up whilst asking “Is Zachary sad?” No response. After a few seconds I feel my cheeks start to heat up. The people in the shop are looking through the window at us. Darwin thankfully is restrained in the pushchair so I can focus on Zachary. My friends and family know just how loud this little chap can be when he wants to be. It’s part of his Sensory profile, that he can’t always regulate his volume and when he in the mist of a melt down, you don’t stand a hope in hell getting this chap to lower his volume, to be fair what child can, when they are so wrought with emotion they can barely control their bodies.

      So, eventually after what seems an age he calms down. I hold him. I hold him really tight and say “Zachary’s OK, Zachary’s OK”. At this point I remember the ball, then I realise, when we left the house I never mentioned anything about a shop and he has been walking to the park to play with his ball. I say “Zachary want ball?” “Zachary go Playground?” He immediately perks up and begins walking towards the Park. I feel very frustrated at myself, thinking that would had been unavoidable had I just thought. Then I cut myself some slack (something I don’t do often enough) and remember this is all new to me. That sometimes when I look at my gorgeous boy, I forget to see the autism and sensory processing disorder and just see a beautiful 3.5 year old boy and I try to treat him like any other child that would fit into that category.   We make it to the park in one piece. WOO HOO!!  He had a great time at the park, it is fantastic for him to get lots of sensory input. Running, jumping, climbing, sliding, swinging, kicking his football etc. there is also a big bench shaped like a train. Zachary has a special place in his heart for this bench. He climbs on shouting “ALL-A BOR” I say back “All aboard” and it’s time to say “Tickets please”. During the time at the park Darwin had a few episodes where he lay on the ground and refused to move, pushing and smacking other children and then getting really upset apparently over nothing. After an hour and 15 mintues I decided it was time to go. 

      With Darwin safely in the pushchair, I began to let Zachary it was time to go.”three slides then shop”, he didn’t seem impressed, after the three slides, I said “go shop get drink”. He was in a grump but he followed. He was fine in the shop and chose a drink and gave the cashier the money and got his ‘ticket’ aka receipt, all was fine on the way home as he sipped his apple juice. Then a bus went by. Zachary instantly started pointing shouting “BUS.BUS.BUS” I try to distract him by engaging him, “yes, bus. Big blue bus”. Zachary doesn’t want to discuss the dimesions and design features he wants to get ON the bus. He begins trying to chase the bus, thank you, to whoever designed reins. It ended with Zachary on the floor screaming again as the bus pulled off and the passengers were staring at us. This is the point when my heart sinks we are at a Dual carriage way, which we must cross the get home. eventually he calms enough to attempt to cross. As I place my hand on top of his on the pushchair handle he begins to make this noise, over and over again, clearly he doesn’t like my hand on top of his, but we have to cross this dual carriage way. We get to the middle and another bus passes, my heart sinks, but this time he just makes this noise louder and louder and points! We cross to the other side of the road. We are on the home stretch now. We are so close and yet so far. We make it back to our street, but Zachary is sobbing, sobbing so hard it is heart breaking. His Dad can hear him in our house which is about five houses away. He comes out and scoops him up, takes him into the house and begins to comfort him. Within 5 mintues Zachary is fast asleep, he stays that way for four hours. It seems the trip to the park really took it out of him mentally, physically and emotionally. I will say, this was a particularly bad morning for Zachary, for every outing we have like this we have four or five that are almost meltdown free. We are still learning to read his cues at the moment, it’s all a learning curve. We will get there though. 

       The point of this post, wasn’t to moan or to focus on Zachary’s Autism and SPD, but it was to show you that not everything you see on social media reflects the truth, or at least not the whole truth. As you have been reading and looking at the photographs, can you believe these were all taken on the trip to the park. Not one sign of any of the things I have mentioned. They are lovely photographs that show what a wonderful time we had at the park. I could have posted these pictures and said, how proud I was that Zachary offered to share his football with another child or that he pushed me and Darwin on the roundabout. Now don’t get me wrong I am so proud of him, but it made me think. What would other people have thought if they saw that post. If it was some one like me. I would feel guilty that my trips to the park weren’t that fun, that my children didn’t seem to have as much fun as others. I may even feel that I am a bad Mum. If you are a comparator like me, these images could make you feel like a failure. Now it’s not the person who put the photos up fault, they were probably just trying to show some images of their children having fun. 

    Just remember the images we see on social media are just a tiny snippet of what goes on behind the screens. It’s like we get to see the final master piece and not the anguish, frustrations and 16 failed pieces before. But know those things exist. I wanted to show you mine. So don’t few bad when you see images that make you feel bad, you do not know what is going on behind closed doors. Every one has their own struggles. So take them for what they are, selected images to show you their life. The best piece of advice if can give you comes from a man named Robert Nesta Marley, although you may know him as Bob Marley “Don’t let them fool ya”. Happy Hump day guys. Relish in your happy moments, but don’t be afraid to show off the imperfect parts too. 
    Thanks for Reading 

    Cherrysnotmyname πŸ’

    perception Vs reality.Β 

    Hi and welcome back to my blog, assuming you have been here before. This post is a kind of light hearted featuring some of my perceptions about parenting three boys Vs the reality, specifically for me and my family. 

    PERCEPTION ONE: Organised Chaos

    I assumed having multiple children would unleash my crazy organised inner self. I know I am not the kind of person to have everything exactly how it should be, but I thought I would at least get half way there. I assumed I would have systems for bath nights/bedtimes/ feeding time/ family time etc. I believed we would live amongst organised chaos. 

    REALITY ONE: All consuming chaos 

    The organised chaos thing never really took off and instead I have what I call all consuming chaos. It consumes not only just my house and my life but also my mind. Believe it or not, I am always thinking about what needs doing next. The problem is things keep getting added way faster than they are being ticked off. This is an area I am working on and slowly, slowly I am seeing improvements, but I mistakenly thought it was something that mysteriously got activated when you had more than one child. 

    PERCEPTION TWO: Confidence in myself, my choices and my abilities

    I thought my Motherly instinct would kick In and I would know exactly what to do ALL the time. Pahaha it was a silly mistake to make. I love my boys and would never do anything to harm them therefore I would only ever make choices to ensure their safety and wellbeing. 
    I do what I think is best for me and my family and therefore I will be 100% confident in my decisions. WRONG

    REALITY TWO: Constant doubt and fear 

    I wrote a blog post before called The Parent Trap:Guilt. It is all about no matter what you are doing or whatever decisions you make, you worry they are wrong. I doubt the way we live our lives is ensuring that they are growing up to be the best versions of themselves. I worry I give them too much freedom, then I worry I don’t give them enough. With the big World Wide Web, there is always a new blog, article, feature, book, comment to make me doubt myself. I am learning to stay strong to my convictions, but at the same time be open to advice. 

    PERCEPTION THREE: Clean children

    I see pictures on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram of these adorable children and they always look so gorgeous and well dressed. I find these lovely clothes by these amazing stay at home mamas, who are working hard producing amazing handmade pieces (companies such as  Tobias and the Bear and Dudes and Dolls to support their families). I look at the photos and think that is what my children will look like when they are wearing the clothes. 

    REALITY THREE: My children often look like they are part of some wild brood

      

    My boys are lovely, happy go lucky, let’s jump in the mud, draw on our clothes, snotty, dribbly, is that chocolate or poop on their trousers kind of kids. Don’t get me wrong they look cute as a puppy in the clothes, but they are very rarely clean! To be fair to them I think they inherit it from me and their Nanny Julie. We can’t eat a meal without ending up wearing half of it, hahaha. I’ve given up on trying to have them looking clean and lovely all the time. As long as they are having fun the stains are pretty much nothing a quick spin in the washing machine can’t fix. 

    PERCEPTION FOUR: Eco Warrior Mama

    I thought I would be or at least still kind of want to be the Mama that really teaches their child about how important the earth and her resources are. In my head we have a compost heap, grow our own veg, eat local, seasonal, organically grown food, walk as much as we can, follow Bob the Builders advice to ‘Reduce.Reuse.Recycle‘. We would use cloth nappies, cloth wipes and even mama cloth. We’d buy organic fair trade clothes (or second hand) use natural remedies to assist our bodies when healing rather than supporting big Pharma. 

    REALITY FOUR: We recycle, yay!

    Time. Time is our biggest problem, well technically our second, in that we don’t have enough of it. The real problem is EXCUSES I have so many of them. I’m too tired, too busy, don’t know enough or I am not skilled enough. Also my ideas are often too grand. I need to start smaller. Rather than start with a whole vegetable garden, let’s grow some  Kitchen window sill herbs, have some plants around the house and make some bird/small animal feeders for the garden. These are all things I want to do this year. The only thing we really do consistently is recycle and donate to charity! 

    * We did use washable cloth nappies for a while with both Zachary and Darwin, but due to my disorganisation and some issues with their poop we never continued with this long term.

    PERCEPTION FIVE: I would be an Attachment/Gentle/Child led parent

    I have always wanted to make sure that I encourage my children to be who they rather than who I want them to be. I want them to respect me not fear me and therefore have always felt drawn to concepts within the attachment/gentle/parent led theories. Breast feeding, baby wearing, co sleeping, praise over discipline, respectful parenting are a few things that I have always be drawn to. 

    REALITY FIVE: Reactionary Parenting
    I have a good friend and whenever I see her she always says “You were born to be a Mother, it is so clear to see”. I often think, gosh the stuff I post on Instagram and Facebook must really make it look like I have got this Motherhood lark down. Well I really haven’t. I have breastfed my kids, I have used slings and wraps with all three moving from high street into specialist wraps with my younger two. I have used cloth nappies, made my own food but I have also used star charts, bribed my kids with chocolate, I’ve used phrases such as “because I said so”, “You are so clever” and even “stop being such a baby”. I have done a lot of reading into mindfulness and being aware of how my language can really impact on my children. You know what, sometimes, especially when you have multiple children. You just react. Sometimes I explode, I say things I regret. I shout, I expect to much from myself and my small humans, but I am learning to say sorry to admit I am wrong and I think sometimes that in itself teaches my children too. 

    PERCEPTION: I will be perfect all the time 

    Talk about setting yourself up to fail, hahaha. I thought I would be like all the Mums who I look up to and admire and respect. To me they often appear perfect. I thought I would get it right all the time. As I said before, because I only want was is best for my boys I would obviously only do things that help them grow. But you know what?

    REALITY: I am only human

    I get things wrong. I mess things up. I am also my worst critic and my harshest judge. I always see what I should have done, what I could have done better. Where I should have been investing my time. My friends and family see how hard Oliver works at school, how kind and thoughtful he is, how happy Zachary is, how much he loves to explore, how fearless Darwin is and how much we all love each other. I always feel like I can’t take credit for their strength of character and talents etc, but I am told that I/We help to shape and mould them and that my children learn through what they see. They know that me and Daddy are only human. We are passionate about things and it can make us mad, we are compassionate and try to show those around us we love them, we try and help others by donating/purchasing at charity shops, we are emotional, sometimes we cry, laugh, shout, sometimes we just want some time alone. I am realising that even though I fee that my reality falls so short from the perception I had of parenting. One thing that we are doing is being real and letting our children know that they too are only human, but that it is OK. That as long as we/they are trying to grow as a person, it is OK to have flaws and sometimes it is those flaws that make us special. 

    Thank you for reading

    Cherrysnotmyname πŸ’