As I mentioned in a previous post, Zachary has both autism and sensory processing disorder. Darwin is displaying traits of the latter. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my boys. I often give them my last bite of food and I don’t do that for just anyone. However I am not ashamed *repeats to self, I am not ashamed, I am not ashamed* to admit that I do at times find them bloody hard work. We have been talking to the Health visitor about about Darwin’s behaviour at home. He is very physical, constantly smacking, climbing on both people and things, he cries and moans an awful lot. He also throws his food, plate and cutlery on the floor EVERY SINGLE meal time. He likes to ram things too, it’s all good fun to him but makes our lives quite difficult. He is petrified of both the vacuum cleaner and the shower and is slightly obsessed with brushing his teeth and trying on ALL the shoes in the house ALL the time 😊.
I recently posted about how I wanted to change my point of view with regards to Darwin. I have been actively trying to be more positive and trying to find alternative activities for him. I know that all of the behaviours I have mentioned for Darwin are normal, but the difference is the amount of time spent doing them. Anyway, I had been speaking to the Health visitor and we have being talking about a possible Occupational therapy assessment. I spoke to the nursery to see if they had any concerns. They said that they agreed he is a very physical child, but that they had no concerns. When we spoke about the issues we are having at home. They said they very rarely see those behaviours displayed at nursery.
Well it was a bit of a kick in the gut and my first question was “What am I doing wrong?”. Why is he not displaying these behaviours at nursery and only at home. He spends more time at nursery than he does at home (something I don’t really like, but it is what it is). Then I realised when he is at nursery he is separated from Zachary. At home we only have the one room down stairs and there is no escaping each other. I think this is part of the issue. I think Darwin does a lot of things to get a reaction out of Zachary.
Zachary has come on leaps and bounds with his speech, however (like a lot of younger kids) when he can’t verbalise what he needs to say he will often scream or reverting to very lone tone grunts. Darwin loves this. Darwin will often keep touching Zachary, which Zachary hates, he also hits him and will push the small table into him and Zachary responds accordingly. Darwin throws his food and then looks to Zachary to see if he is copying and 9/10 times he does. This results in me or the Mr shouting “No, Zachary, No Darwin don’t throw your food on the floor” which normally results in big grins, laughter and more food being thrown on the floor.
Ok, you need to bare with me now whilst I explain the next bit. Darwin has an ongoing ear infection, but it’s not a normal ear infection (remember when I said nothing is ever simple, hahaha). He has eczema in his ear canal which he has scratched and it has become infected. It has been infected since January!! He has had FOUR sets of antibiotics and THREE sets of drops, none of these have worked. We are currently under ENT at a not so local hospital. We are unsure at this moment in time of it is having any impact on his hearing however how he could have so much ‘gunk’ in his ears (they leak multiple times a day) and not have it affect his hearing I am unsure? I am now beginning to think it would explain a lot of his behaviours, the banging and smashing, the behaviours that result in loud noises such as Zachary screaming and being shouted no at.
We are awaiting a hearing test, but we can’t have one till the infection clears up. We are on our way to ENT and hoping we will get something to really sort his ears out because this has been going I for far too long! He has an assessment with the health visitor in Monday, which will hopefully shed some light as to whether or not we need to be concerned. We just need to get his ears sorted and see if all improves (fingers crossed) but there is a part of me which is hoping that it is just die to his ears and we can draw a line through it once they are healed, but who knows? It still doesn’t explain why they don’t have the issues at nursery? Maybe it’s quieter? Maybe it’s a more structured environment? Maybe he isn’t bored? Here is hoping whatever it is we get to the bottom of it.
Thank you for reading