Uh-oh. I never thought this would happen to me. #epicparentingfail

Β  Well I don’t think I really need to say much, as they say a picture say a thousand words. I’ve seen these pictures before, only with others peoples children and I have always had a quick guilty giggle and thought. How? How did it happen. Well I won’t leave you wondering. I had just given these two little terrors, sorry I mean munchkins a bath. Popped them into some clean bed clothes and popped down stairs to get their soya milk. Their elder brother was in the room and when I left they were casually flicking through some story books. Well in the 5 mins maximum I was gone, it appears a bomb of Sudocrem self combusted and magically landed right next to my two tots and completely covered them from head to toe, Well that’s one version, lol.

The other is that somehow between the two of them, they managed to get the Sudocrem and cover themselves head to toe! I must admit I laughed when I saw them. I had to. These cheeky monkeys bought a big massive smile to my face. The photo I captured makes me laugh even more, Darwin at least kind of looks guilty, Zachary on the other hand is grinning his little face off. He has had so much fun! I don’t know whether he doesn’t understand due to the autism that this isn’t acceptable behaviour? He was far too excited about going back in the bath to have a shower. I love these little dudes so much.

The carpet now looks a little funky and I think we are definitely going to have to replace it this year, it’s only carpet. The look on their faces is priceless. Although I wouldn’t want to repeat this incident, I am glad that I had this #epicparentingfail as it fits in wonderfully with a post that I am currently writing, which is all about how you react to situations and the way it determines the outcome. The outcome here was that they made a mistake it was kind of funny and it was mummy’s fault, not theirs. They shouldn’t have been able to reach the Sudocrem in the first place. That’s basic parenting 101, if you don’t want you child messing with it, put it out of reach.


I am sure there will be many more incidents like this over the years, especially with these two, they fight like cat and dog but they are thick as thieves when they want to be. I can’t wait to see what adventures these two go on to have.
Thanks for reading

Cherrysnotmyname πŸ’

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I get by with a little help from my friends *

Don’t get me started on the ‘Mummy wars’ being a woman is hard and being a Mum/Mama/Mother/Mom is ever harder (I have no scientific evidence to support this, other than there seems to be a correlation between my caffefine intake and the number of children I have). Any way it makes me so sad to see posts where other Mums are judging each other. Over the past seven years since I joined this awesome club parenthood, I have been a part of many different parenting groups. Both online and IRL (in real life, haha). 

I have experienced the judgemental stares, the ‘helpful’ advice where you are told you are doing it all wrong. I have even been a part of a Facebook group, where people were secretly taking photos of others mums and posting them and commenting on how bad a parent they were. Now I want to state that this was not the purpose of the group, it was meant to be a place to offer support and advice, but it appeared that it was fine to ‘slag’ people off that weren’t actually in the group. I left the group, I couldn’t stay as I felt if the only way they/we could build ourselves up was to tear someone down (someone who wasn’t even there to defend their actions) then it wasn’t a group I wanted to be a part of. 

The only way to avoid this is to become a hermit, to stay inside all day, never got to any groups and don’t partake in any social media websites. Yeah, like that is ever going to happen. Every now and again if you are lucky, you find a jewel of a group. I am a part of a group like that. We met on a pregnancy and parenting forum, Baby and bump, we were part of a group for women who were due in September, October and Novemeber 2011, there were 100’s of us, far to many to form any kind of real connections. There was an off shoot group which was smaller which some of us joined, some of us became really close and we formed a Facebook group and around 15 of us finally made a What’sapp group. At the time you couldn’t have a group that big. We emailed what’s app and explained out plight and they allowed bigger groups, woohoo!

 We all met online over four years ago on that Bnb site. We now have 8 members of our group, with 5 that are active almost daily, Kerri, Katie and I are the ones who chat most frequently. It’s nice to know that you aren’t alone. Right from the start our group has been through so much. Between us all we’ve had more babies, miscarriages, family breakdowns, multiple house and job changes, health complications, marriage, money issues, you name it and one of us has probably been through it, one of us even had triplets. We’ve laughed, cried and shown each other photos we wouldn’t dare share with anyone else. We have had whatapp parties which involved us getting quite drunk and one of us vomiting, I shall mention no names. We have shared so much of our lives together. Some of us have even been lucky enough to have met in real life. We would love to do a big meet up, we are spread all across the UK and some in America too. 

These women who I have never met, who I may never meet. Have shared some of my biggest moments over the past four and a bit years. They have been some of the first people I have turned to in my darkest times. When I have felt completely overwhelmed with Motherhood, sometimes even life itself. We share a special bond that is hard to put into words. If you are part of a group like this, then you will understand exactly what I mean. What I love is how diverse we are, some of us are married, some not, some breastfed, some didn’t, some have done traditional weaning, some have done baby led weaning, some have used cloth nappies, some have baby worn, some have co slept, others have never had a night away from their child, others have had whole weeks apart. The best thing is we do our darndest not to judge, but instead to support. If we do not agree with what someone is doing then we state our point and offer to discuss it more and if it doesn’t work out (we have had members leave) we generally decide to respect each others parenting choices. We are at a point where we know that we are going to have different opinions and make different decisions. The best bit is we have realised that is Ok. We have decided to support eachother. All of these girls have a special place in my heart. They are currently helping motivate me to get on top of my housework and they encourage me every day, they share their tips, listen to me moan and they big me up when I finish something I wanted to do. 

These ladies will never replace a few special ladies I have in my life (you know who you are). These ladies fulfil a different role and I thank them for it, they are the ones I message when I am worried about my babies breathing and complaining when I can not get their temperatures down, they almost know as much about my life as I do and I theirs. I think it’s wonderful what we have. I also think it’s so refreshing to hear nice stories about the internet that doesn’t involve trolling or shaming people. I know facebook and Instgram have some wonderful friendships forged and maintained in them, but for us whatsapp is what has really made the difference. So Kerri, Katie, Amber, Zoe and the others who pop in and out. Thank you, for being such a huge part of my life and thank you for sharing your lives with me. I look forward to many more years of friendship. Thank God for smart phones.

Thank you for reading

Cherrysnotmyname πŸ’

Where I am at 23/04/2015

Hi

If this is your first time visiting my blog, hello and welcome. If you have been before and have decided to revisit, thank you 😘. For all you newbies, I hope you will have a look round, feel free to like my posts and leave comments. It’s always lovely to hear from the people who are reading this. I just wanted to do a quick update as to where I am right now. 

There have been a few changes at home, I left my last job just over a month ago. I have been half heartedly looking for work, but it’s been really hard to find something that fits in around my family. The Mr and I have decided that I will not return to work at this present time. There were many factors, one of them being the amount of time off I would need off over the next 6 weeks for both Zachary and Darwin’s appointments. I wouldn’t be able to get all the time off work and if I was temping I would loose out on too much money. So the plan is I stay home, Zachary does his 30 hours at nursery and we will pay for Darwin to do two days a week. There are two reasons for this. One is to give me a break, the second one is so Darwin will still get lots of peer interaction and we can continue to work on his language as it has been confirmed he has a speech delay. 

I have four weeks from today, where the children will be in full time nursery. After that we switch to the new school based hours 9.30-4. My plan for these next four weeks is to get my life and house in order. For those that know me personally, I have tried this staying at home malarkey before a few times and have failed. I have four key flaws I am messy, disorganised, a little lazy and I lurve to procrastinate. These do not make for a clean,organised, happy, non stressed family. In the past I have blamed it on everyone but me. Well this time, I have decided that I want it to be different. Only I can make it different. 

I have been looking at some wonderful websites and blogs Imperfect homemaking this is a great blog with lots of pictures and has some monthly challenges, it’s worth having a look at Forever organised Jess works part time and she looks after her little girl. She has some brilliant ideas how to organise your time and make things practical and pretty. Last but not least there is Organise my house this is a lovely site where you can dip into bits and pieces and take the bits that suit your life and family. I am pretty sure all of these have Twitter, Facebook and Instagram so you can follow them on those sites too. Great if you need daily motivation. I have also been speaking to two super organised friends Kerri and Katie, you will hear more about them in another post I am working on. 

My next four weeks are going to be about restoring my house to order and preparing for the new shift in our family dynamic. One of the things I have learnt from my scouring the Internet for some magic potion which will me be a better home maker, is it is ok to need to make lists, I don’t have to magically remember everything off the top of my head. It’s ok, no it’s vital to have a plan for almost every area of my life and I MUST get the rest of my family involved, it’s a team effort. I need to run my family like a little business. It needs structure, boundaries and consitency. When I am working at a job, I am committed, I love having lists and being organised, at home not so much. Well it’s time to change. 

I am beginning by decluttering and deep cleaning EVERY room in my house and will also do the gardens too. I am not thinking this is a quick job, it’s going to take time. I am decluttering and I am going to be brutal. I have started on my kitchen and it is already so much better. I know where everything is and it’s a million times easier to clean. My plan is to create a mini command centre in our house, where there will a weekly food menu, a daily and weekly jobs list,  a weekly diary and other things to help us get organised. Like I said, I am going to start running it like a business, change is going to take time and some things might work and something’s might not work, but we will change and adjust. I am glad that I have these four weeks, to give me the time to get things how I want and need them to be. I have an end goal in sight and I am going to make steps every day to get there. 

Some people may be thinking why am I going on about this and how hard is it to maintain a nice, calm, organised household. For me it is hard, it doesn’t come naturally, I really wish it did. If it does for you I am pleased and eager for you to share your tips with me. I am going to continue to blog, it’s like a therapy for me and I miss it when I don’t do it. I hope you will follow me on this journey. I’m off to finish deep cleaning my kitchen. 
Thanks for reading 

Cherrysnotmyname πŸ’

The Sh!t rant

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Ok, so this is actually a rant about Sh*t. Dog sh*t to be specific. Dogs are lovely, I get it. Dogs provide companionship which is fantastic, but they  also sh*t, a lot and in public places. Now don’t get me wrong, I kinda like dogs. It’s certain owners I don’t like. Specifically the ones who don’t clean up their dogs crap. You are their owner and therefore assume the responsibility of chief pooper scooper. How you do it I do not care, with a carrier bag? A scented bag on a stick? With a shovel? With your bare hands?… Ok, I take that last one back, don’t do it with your bare hands, that’s just gross. I’m not moaning for the sake of it. It does look disgusting and often smells, but I can deal with that. 

I am not even moaning because, yes sometimes I step in it. “Muck for luck” they say, hmmm I think that may be something someone invented so not to be so annoyed they had trod in crap… again , hahaha. I am moaning and annoyed, and rightly so. Because I have three children, I just want to clarify I am not annoyed that I have three children, I was about to continue the sentence with, and going for walks and nice trips outside can be made a bazillion times harder by one of them stepping in dog crap. It’s even worse when your 3.5 year old picks up a dried piece of dog poop thinking it is a stone (to the people who will start bitching about how did he get to the dog poo, what was his mum doing etc)  I was getting his baby brother out of the pushchair. Even on our short journey to nursery our boys can often end up walking in poop. It’s really frustrating! 

Some people might say I should look where I am going, others might say I should keep a closer eye on my kids, but I counter that with, I shouldn’t have to. Why should I have to assume responsibility for the actions of some person who has selfishly walked their dog and let them go poopies on the pavement? I know this is life and sometimes there are really annoying people who do things like this and in the great scheme of things with all the horrific things that happen daily in the world, not picking up piece of dog poop is nothing. And yes I would be forced to agree with you, yet this is still something that really pisses me off!! Does this subject deserve a whole blog post? Probably not, but here we are anyway. 

I want to end this on a positive note, so boo to all those who don’t do what they are meant to do. I want to take this time to say 

                          β€’T H A N K Y O Uβ€’

To all the responsible dog owners, the ones who clean up after their dogs. Who not only have them to look good, but care for them and clean up their poop. I have used washable nappies on my kiddies and I know how rancid it is to actually have someone/something else’s poop so close to you. I applaud you πŸ‘. I have even said thank you to strangers  who have been cleaning up dog poop, they generally look at me like I am a lunatic. Maybe I am? Hahahahaha. Anyway, thanks for getting this far, may your day be filled with less sh*t than normal, due to some awesome dog owners. 

Thanks for reading 

Cherrysnotmyname πŸ’

It finally clicked

  

As I mentioned in a previous post, Zachary has both autism and sensory processing disorder. Darwin is displaying traits of the latter. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my boys. I often give them my last bite of food and I don’t do that for just anyone. However I am not ashamed *repeats to self, I am not ashamed, I am not ashamed* to admit that I do at times find them bloody hard work. We have been talking to the Health visitor about about Darwin’s behaviour at home. He is very physical, constantly smacking, climbing on both people and things, he cries and moans an awful lot. He also throws his food, plate and cutlery on the floor EVERY SINGLE meal time. He likes to ram things too, it’s all good fun to him but makes our lives quite difficult. He is petrified of both the vacuum cleaner and the shower and is slightly obsessed with brushing his teeth and trying on ALL the shoes in the house ALL the time 😊. 

I recently posted about how I wanted to change my point of view with regards to Darwin. I have been actively trying to be more positive and trying to find alternative activities for him. I know that all of the behaviours I have mentioned for Darwin are normal, but the difference is the amount of time spent doing them. Anyway, I had been speaking to the Health visitor and we have being talking about a possible Occupational therapy assessment. I spoke to the nursery to see if they had any concerns. They said that they agreed he is a very physical child, but that they had no concerns. When we spoke about the issues we are having at home. They said they very rarely see those behaviours displayed at nursery. 

Well it was a bit of a kick in the gut and my first question was “What am I doing wrong?”. Why is he not displaying these behaviours at nursery and only at home. He spends more time at nursery than he does at home (something I don’t really like, but it is what it is). Then I realised when he is at nursery he is separated from Zachary. At home we only have the one room down stairs and there is no escaping each other. I think this is part of the issue. I think Darwin does a lot of things to get a reaction out of Zachary. 

Zachary has come on leaps and bounds with his speech, however (like a lot of younger kids) when he can’t verbalise what he needs to say he will often scream or reverting to very lone tone grunts. Darwin loves this. Darwin will often keep touching Zachary, which Zachary hates, he also hits him and will push the small table into him and Zachary responds accordingly. Darwin throws his food and then looks to Zachary to see if he is copying and 9/10 times he does. This results in me or the Mr shouting “No, Zachary, No Darwin don’t throw your food on the floor” which normally results in big grins, laughter and more food being thrown on the floor. 

Ok, you need to bare with me now whilst I explain the next bit. Darwin has an ongoing ear infection, but it’s not a normal ear infection (remember when I said nothing is ever simple, hahaha). He has eczema in his ear canal which he has scratched and it has become infected. It has been infected since January!! He has had FOUR sets of antibiotics and THREE sets of drops, none of these have worked. We are currently under ENT at a not so local hospital. We are unsure at this moment in time of it is having any impact on his hearing however how he could have so much ‘gunk’ in his ears (they leak multiple times a day) and not have it affect his hearing I am unsure? I am now beginning to think it would explain a lot of his behaviours, the banging and smashing, the behaviours that result in loud noises such as Zachary screaming and being shouted no at. 

We are awaiting a hearing test, but we can’t have one till the infection clears up. We are on our way to ENT and hoping we will get something to really sort his ears out because this has been going I for far too long! He has an assessment with the health visitor in Monday, which will hopefully shed some light as to whether or not we need to be concerned. We just need to get his ears sorted and see if all improves (fingers crossed) but there is a part of me which is hoping that it is just die to his ears and we can draw a line through it once they are healed, but who knows? It still doesn’t explain why they don’t have the issues at nursery? Maybe it’s quieter? Maybe it’s a more structured environment? Maybe he isn’t bored? Here is hoping whatever it is we get to the bottom of it. 

Thank you for reading

Cherrysnotmyname πŸ’