Today is one of those days where I just feel exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally. I’m not sure why exactly, although I guess there has been a lot happening the past few weeks. Last night I was up till gone 12am with my youngest Darwin, 18 months. He has some sort of ear infection, we are off to ENT on Friday, but that is a discussion for another post. So he was screaming and I was getting frustrated. I had been at work all day and wanted to finish my blog post, I know priorities right , haha. Darwin co sleeps with us and he had a restless night, he has a cold and his breathing keeps playing up, he has a history of being admitted to hospital when he gets like this. This all meant that I had a restless night too.
Anyway, it’s almost time for me to leave to go to work and I am so tired. Sat in my comfy clothes with one last cup of coffee before I get ready to leave for work. I am having a nosey on Instagram and I keep falling asleep, albeit for milliseconds. These micro naps are making me feel terrible, I feel like I can’t function. I curse the coffee…. “LIAR” I can’t do it, how I am going to manage a 12-9 shift??? Standing on my feet all day. I feel exhausted and today just feels like too big of a challenge. I even ponder what would happen if I was to just fall asleep and not wake up for a few hours… Obviously this is just a silly day dream. I have responsibilities, priorities and a need to make money to help support my family.
I got up went upstairs, straightened my hair, put in some make up and plastered on my biggest smile. I said to myself “fake it till you make it”. I pretended I wasn’t tired, I didn’t fall asleep in the bus and in actual fact my tiredness come 8 o’clock provided much entertainment to the girls I work with, when I couldn’t get a sentence out without mispronouncing a word or forgetting what I was talking about. And yeah, I’m on another 12-9 tomorrow and considering I’m not even home yet and Darwin has woken screaming I am in for another long tiring night. Tomorrow I plan on faking it till I make it and after all tomorrow will be my last 12-9. I’m sure tiredness will subside when I am in a better routine.
Tonight, I plan to think of other areas I can plan to fake it till I make it! Being tidy and organised maybe???
This is me, After I put on my slap, I plan on being a big faker!!
Thanks for reading